Little Johnny Does Different Maths 
Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard:
“One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two.”
“Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four.”
“Three and three… ” 
His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him. His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework. 
The next day she stormed into Little Johnny’s classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. Little Johnny’s mother told Ms. Margo about Little Johnny’s different way of doing math, and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class. The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn’t understand why Little Johnny had said what he did. 
Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, “Oh, I know, here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two.” 

Peeping Johnny 
A new teacher was giving an assignment to her class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the male students.
She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny Pat?”
“Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.”
“Get out of my classroom,” she yells, “I don’t want to see you for three days.” 
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student.
She quickly turns and asks, “What’s so funny, Billy?”
“Well teacher, I just saw both of your garters.” 
Again she yells, “Get out of my classroom!” This time the punishment is more severe, “I don’t want to see you for three weeks.” 
Embarrassed, she drops the eraser when she turns around, so she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an all out belly laugh from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
“Where do you think you are going?” she asks.
“Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over.” 

Posted via email from partha’s posterous